Looking Back

I picked up my journal from 2012 and read some entries. My heart jumps when I am reminded how God has been good to me throughout the years.

Yes, my penmanship is similar to the one in the photo.

I read about what I was feeling, what I was doing, who I am with and what we (my friends and I) talked about on those journal entries and it puts a smile in my face every time a flashback of that day comes into my mind as I read the entries. The praise items were the best parts to read, of course. It brought back the feeling when I was in that moment. Experiencing the presence of God, the goodness of the Lord, seeing and tasting what the Lord has done. Who wouldn't get chills?

There's this entry when I get to completely tell my life story with no hesitation and transparency to my friends and Pastors; the day that I get forgiven with what I thought is an unforgivable offense by a friend; when I was used to be a channel of blessing to God... and others. Woah.

The entries with encouragements were great, too. It reminds me that these same words that I read in a book or a text message from a friend are the very words that God used to help me get through the tough times and help me get to where I am today. I wonder if those words were not spoken to me that time? 

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I am a 3-year old Christian, and it's a roller coaster ride. I've been up and down. The spices of life are sprinkled on me. Conflict/Reconciliation. Sickness/Healing. Lacking/Contentment. Goodbyes/Hellos. Mistakes/Lessons. Sadness/Happiness. Pain/Joy. Fear/Love. I know. I know these 'spices' happens to everyone but what makes it special is I know it did not happen accidentally. That these situations/feelings/experiences did not happen accidentally. That these situations/feelings/experiences occurred for my own good. It's God's work in my life. It may be good or 'bad' in my eyes. It's part of the real life Jesus that promised He will give us (John 10:10). We get the two sides of the coin.

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For Christmas, I get to receive gifts. What a blessing. I got 3 journals. There's 2 big ones and a small one. 1 is a diary type planner, 1 blank journal (the ones where you can doodle) and a small Papemelrotti mini notebook. It's cute. I think I should return to writing and documenting what's happening in my life. I didn't get these stuffs for nothing. :D Maybe someday I'll blog about the stuffs I'm going to write in these journals.

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Before I end this post, I want to share this entry from my journal from July 24, 2012. I don't know what I am going through at that time but I knew I needed to read/hear these words (and I also need to hear/read these words now). I can't remember which book this paragraph is from but credits to whoever wrote it.

July 24, 2012

"When our will is weak, when our thinking is confused, and when our conscience is burdened with a load of guilt, we must remember that God cares for us continually; His compassion never fails. When friends and family desert us, when co-workers don't understand us and when we are tired of being good, God's compassion never fails us. When we can't see the way or seem to hear God's voice, and when we lack courage to go on, God's compassion never fails. When our shortcomings and our awareness of our sins overcome us, God's compassion never fails."

In light of the  encouraging entry from my journal, my hope and prayer for my soul and to your soul is that may we always remind ourselves to hold on to God's compassion and unending love. It's the only thing that will get us going in this imperfect world.  Let's leave behind our burdens from the past, give it to the Lord and strain toward what is ahead. It's not as easy as it sound but we are all a continuing work of Christ. If we're not dead, we're not done.

Never give up. God loves you. God is watching over you.

Happy New Year. Have a blessed year.